*Morning, a play in one act*
Me: You wanna go outSIde?
Dog: YES, I WANNA GO.
(Dog spins in circle in excitement)
(Me opens door, lets Dog out)
Me: Go potty.
Dog: I HAVE PINECONE!
Me: Drop it and go potty!
Dog: I KILL PINECONE!
(Dog shakes pinecone viciously)
Dog: I WANT TO BRING PINECONE INSIDE AND RIP IT TO SHREDS ON YOUR CARPET!
(Dog attempts to enter door)
(Me blocks door with foot, because me is 10 times bigger than little dog that rules Me’s life. Me ponders this. Also, Me is now referring to meself like Cookie Monster.)
Me: Drop it. GO POTTY!
Dog: I LOVE PINECONE!
Me: DROP THE FREAKIN PINECONE AND PEE YOU RAT DOG!
Dog: Never mind, I don’t have to go.
*Fin
Life with Del 